sweet pea has been wanting to learn to use the sewing machine. we decided to try and learn to sew with a project for granny's birthday gift.

granny has been doing all the sewing since she was born and my mother-in law is also the one who is teaching me to sew.

sweet pea chose a few fabric pieces of fabric from the fabric sample books that i received from a woman that works at an interior design library and posted on freecycle that she was getting rid of older fabric sample books that they no longer needed. i wasn't sure what i was going to use them for at the time but i knew that we would find something to do with them. i am hoping to use some to try to make my first quilt soon.

sweet pea chose some fabric to make a little bag for granny. i will post pictures when we finish. she cut off the bottom of the fabric samples with the paper on the back and used them to practice different stiches. then she realized that they would make very good bookmarks. can't wait until she makes me one.

we are really busy making beads for the fundraiser on sunday. the kids are really enjoying it and working so hard. i am really proud of them. our neighbor is helping too. so wonderful. i think that these are going to be our best bracelets yet.

sometimes in all the chaos of the day it all comes together with 30 minutes of quiet bliss. knowing that sweet pea is having another successful piano lesson and listening to an amazing advanced violin lesson while easing into the new soulemama book. Happiness!

hope that you are enjoying your day.

we came home last night and sunset was floating on top of the water.

we are all so sad. not sure why we all were so attached to this fish so quickly. maybe because sweet pea won it herself just a short 12 days ago. who knows, but we are going to get another one today.

i was beginning to have hot flashes again about 3 months ago and thought that i might be starting menopause. i went to see my midwife and a fertility specialist dr. john queenan, that i had gone to see before i started chemo in 2005.

in 2005 we were afraid that the chemo might knock out my ovaries so we wanted to harvest some eggs before i began chemo. there was not enough time to do the harvest before i started chemo because they really wanted me to get started. so they gave me a drug to put me into menopause to protect my ovaries. so when i went to see dr. queenan 2 months ago he told me that i was probably not creating any eggs anymore. i was still holding out some hope. i went to see dr. henry hess who is a gyn that specializes in hormone balance. i met with him to review my blood work today. the good news is that my thyroid, cholesterol, testosterone and adrenal glands are all very normal. estrogen on the other hand. not so much. i had a bone scan before chemo, but he thinks that my bones may be equal to those of a 52 year old. i turned 40 last week so this is concerning.

so we move on. i am going to be starting some new herbs and refocus on yoga, exercise and diet. the good news is that he believes that i can eat more tofu. i had cut back to a few times a week. he thinks i would be fine to eat it every day.

i am trying not to feel really sad about not having another baby. i am so fortunate to be here and healthy and to be home with my wonderful girl and an amazing supportive husband. we have a wonderful life. really, really amazing actually it is going to change from what i thought that it would be, but we will be having different adventures now and continue to be positive and joyful.

enjoy every minute.

my sister was in town and we all took a day trip down to the corning museum of glass with my dad and steopmom.

so much to see. sweetpea took a sand blasting class. nothing like having 5 adults watching a 7 year olds every move to make her feel totally the center of the world. some days it seems sad for her to be an only child, today i don't think that she was minding it much!

we love dioramas. this one was showing how they used to have a round furnace and all the glass blowers would stand around the outside and work around the furnace. this picture doesn't really capture it. still very cool.

literally creating a rainbow bridge with the kids.

and my sister

almost complete

the compost bin is next!

the morning started with my loves loving me. what could be better than that?

family and friends were stopping in all day to help around the yard, bring me wishes and gifts and enjoy my favorite birthday dinner since i was little. my mother made me her yummy tomato sauce with spaghetti. we ended up with 12 of us. it was a beautiful evening and we set up the tables in the garden and enjoyed. our fabulous neighbors let us cook the pasta in her kitchen (often difficult to keep the water boiling on the hot plate).

great news on the kitchen front today. tom stopped by with the electrician and the excavator. looks like we are getting closer to a solution to the water in our yard.

tom also brought over some slate samples for the counter. andrew and i are not yet in agreement on the color choice. i don't think this will be a problem.

one of my favorite reading pictures-this is what i think of when i think of her love for books.

sweet pea is so excited about her reading program at our local library. i think if she continues at the rate she is at now she will be finishing harry potter's 4th book on her own by the end of the summer. i believe that this is her goal.

we are going to be starting our book reviews. when sweet pea was smaller we tried to have a book list with her playgroup friends. it was a not as straight forward because we were trying to share emails. this should work much easier.

she read the biggest fish by sheila keenan last night and it has some measuring projects for us to do in the back we are very excited to work on those today.

we had a beautiful tribute to grandma today. i think it is just what she wanted. we were almost all there, just missing my sister.

here are some thoughts that i shared about her.